The Difficulties of Being a FOCUS Missionary

My Dear Friends,

As I reflect on my first semester as a missionary, it is with a heavy heart that I consider the faults, with rejoicing that I consider next semester's new beginning, and with deep gratitude that I remember your immense generosity.

This first semester I spent a lot of good time figuring out what it means to be a missionary in the evangelical sense (note the lower case "e"). Often I would wake up overjoyed at the prospects of the day: that it was part of the job description to pray a holy hour, go to mass, eat lunch with people, talk about Jesus, witness His saving power in people's lives, spend time with a fun team. But it also often became a job, a grind, so to speak. The strength for our apostolate must come from our relationship with God. It is at these times of fatigue that I can point to distractedness in prayer.

We began the year with strong zeal during our fall outreach. Reflecting back, besides some minor mistakes that our team made generally, for myself I see a slack in zeal as the semester proceeded from fall outreach. The boldness with which I sought students out in the beginning waned as did the semester. I ask your forgiveness and prayers for this, that I would seek Jesus more purely in the sacraments and in prayer, so that, as Fr. Keating said below, my joy would not be based on circumstance, but on the hope which I have in Christ in me, and in His Cross's salvific power. There were good shots in the arm of inspiration periodically, but it is dangerous to rely on these consolations from God. At the same time, it is just as dangerous to over-compensate, so to speak, and begin to rely too much on self. It is always God's grace that we must rely on, but grace comes in many forms. Consolation is just one of them. The great challenge for each of us is loving the Consolator, not the consolation.

When I feel convicted about some action within the apostolate, a difficulty is translating that conviction into action. It is easy for me to sit back and think, "this is the Gospel, the Good News. I need to take it to campus and boldy proclaim it, so that hearts might be revealed". But then put me in the student union in the midst of hundreds of unfamiliar students and it is quite easy to rationalize silence saying "Oh, they're just going to turn a cold shoulder on me--I need to begin a relationship first, which is far too long a process, no one would be interested". Yet that's exactly what we're here for. Certainly there have been the successes, and I can only trust that God will put before me those with whom He has ordained I begin a relationship, but there is the danger that He presents His will to me and I deny it out of passivity and cowardice. Pray for me in this, that I would be blessed with a boldness and zeal for the proclamation of the Kingdom, a zeal for souls that shows forth the love of Jesus, the Incarnate Word made flesh to demonstrate to the world how to love--love no matter what! subject to death, even death on a cross! And I pray for each of you, that in your life you may have this zeal and love as well. Peace be with you in this Third Week of Advent, Gaudete! "Rejoice always!" 1 Thess 5:16

FINALS WEEK!

This week our students are busy at work, studying for finals and pulling projects together. The Catholic Student Center has turned into a study hall, with an agreed-upon silence in most of the rooms. We claimed one room, however, for snacking, unwinding, blowing off steam, etc. The students moved the ping pong table in there, brought video games, and we've held a movie series a few nights this week. It's a great time for us to support the students and encourage them as they study, but also be available for those who are in between finals, or finished, with whom we go out to eat, watch movies, and chat.

I've been trying to get together with what's called my "discipleship chain". This consists of John, my disciple, along with Nick and Vince, his disciples. It's good to get all of us together so that there is solidarity in the movement and encouragement from a greater perspective. By living life together, we grow in fraternity while at the same time witnessing to God's love to each other. I had the guys over for dinner this past Monday, I made my sister's delicious Thai Chicken Stew. It won many compliments, I recommend it. After dinner we watched Gladiator together.

Tuesday and Wednesday our FOCUS team went on our mid-year retreat. We journeyed up to Emmitsburg again, to Mt. St. Mary's College. It was a great time to reflect on the semester and recast the vision for the next. We're excited for a program we're calling "Upper Room", which will be introduced for the first time here at UMD. It is an 8 week program for new FOCUS student leaders that serves 2 purposes: 1. Unity of formation (with unity in fellowship as a side-effect) 2. An opportunity for leadership development for veteran student leaders who can help lead the workshops. The workshops cover the basics of FOCUS discipleship and evangelization models, while also providing a context for us to meet regularly and build up our fraternity. Since this is the first time we're introducing the program (many other established FOCUS schools have incorporated the program already) we're asking that all our student leaders participate. In the future it will be only for disciples who are new that year and have not started leading a bible study. Want the numbers from this year?

We started with 11 disciples at the beginning of this year. The tough news first: we lost 2 of them. The good news: we gained 7. Please pray for our continued zeal for souls as we transition into our second semester.

Pray for UNL

On Friday this week the women's side of the FOCUS team at the University of Nebraska was in a terrible car accident. 2 of the girls have been released from the hospital, but last we heard, 3 were still in pretty bad shape. One, Ashley Haas, has suffered major head injuries and she is still in critical condition as of this morning. Please keep them in your prayers. The story link is below.

http://www.ketv.com/news/18266526/detail.html

Second Week of Advent

Great news! Yesterday Vince officially said "yes" to discipleship with John. So that side of my "discipleship chain" is "spiritually multiplying" (sorry for all the FOCUSspeak).

As the semester winds down, I'd like to leave you all with a few reflections from a lecture by Fr. Michael Keating, given at FOCUS summer training, that have struck me. They may also have particular weight during this Advent season."Our joy must not come from circumstances." It is so difficult in any type of work to follow the commandment St. Paul gives us in 1 Thess. 5:16: "Rejoice always". But Fr. Keating's words here are magnificent. If we're allowing our surroundings to determine our attitude, what reason have we to be joyful? Surely we can come up with some, but ultimately this world is dying away. Our hope is in heaven, in the love of the Cross, in the glory of the Resurrection. And Christ's coming into the world at the incarnation is the beginning of that Resurrection event.

Our job as evangelists is to reveal hearts. As Jesus challenges the rich man in Luke 10, we are not to water down the message so that we can "people heaven". The rich man is told to sell his belongings and follow Jesus. He walks away sad. Again in John 6, Jesus declares that He is the "bread come down from heaven", and "whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life". When the disciples doubt and "returned to their former way of life", Jesus did not call them back and say, "wait, you're right, that was a pretty weird way of saying it, what I really meant was..." No, He revealed their hearts, both to themselves and to His Father in Heaven.

This Advent, let us not be afraid to call each other to a greater love of Jesus, the Incarnate Word. Let us dare to celebrate Christmas, not during Advent, but during Christmas. The Church gives us 8 days to rejoice. Christmas does not end on December 25th, but begins. How will you celebrate the octave?

FROM THE CAMPUS

One could say it was recruitment week around here. Last Saturday I went up to Mount St. Mary's College in Emmitsburg to help the FOCUS team up there with their recruitment event. And we held ours on Tuesday this week. They both went very well.

Our lovely team director, Helen Almeter, gave us the day off on Mary's Immaculate Conception, and we went to our National Shrine, whose patronage (yes, our national patronage) is The Immaculate Conception! Dan Murphy, a young man from my Bible study, went with us (most students are currently swamped with work before finals) and we met FOCUS teams from George Mason and University of Pittsburg there. It was an incredibly beautiful mass, again celebrated by our papal nuncio Archbishop Pietro Sambi (I'm growing quite fond of the ol' guy). We were again on EWTN, and the choirs brought Raul and I to tears. We all went out for lunch afterward at the Capitol City Brewing Co. in downtown D.C.

I'm just holding my last Bible studies of the semester, and next week we'll spend time encouraging students as they study and take finals. We set up the Catholic Students Center mostly for quiet study, but one room will be the designated blow-off-your-steam room complete with snacks, movies, nintendo, etc.

Raul is getting very excited about the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, to be celebrated this Friday. I think he's planning on taking me to a mass at 7pm tomorrow night, then to a vigil at 2 in the morning. He's pumped! I hope you all celebrate this patronage of the Americas by eating some tasty Mexican food!

May God bless you in this Second week of Advent!

Click here for FOCUS Promo Video

This will take you to the FOCUS website. The top video is the Recruitment video. The others are great too!

Leadership Summit 2009 and Update on the Mission

Projects!

Every other year FOCUS hosts a National Conference, last year it took place in Grapevine Texas. But what happens in the off years?

They are called Local Leadership Summits and involve coordination of FOCUS teams in close proximity to each other putting together a mini conference for their student leaders. The theme for the January 2009 Summit is "Leave the 99". UMD will be putting ours on with the Naval Academy and George Mason University. We all have committees that we're working on, mine being the program committee. So I've been making calls and sending emails trying to book speakers and music for the weekend. We've also been working on a schedule and invitations to priests and chaplains. So far for our Summit we have booked Sister Mary Gabriel from the Sisters of Life in New York, Jeremy Rivera from FOCUS National (to speak on evangelization), and Jeff Ossinger for music (a former FOCUS missionary who now works at Catholic University).

Update

John Junghans, my disciple, will be asking Vince Bury into discipleship this Friday. Please pray for both of them, that Vince responds in the way that God prompts his heart, and that John has the courage to challenge Vince in a loving and brotherly way. Here's a bad picture of Vince and I at a UMD soccer game earlier in the year.

In Other News

FOCUS UMD will be hosting its annual recruitment event next Tuesday. We're calling it "Go therefore...A Closer Look at FOCUS as a Post-Collegiate Opportunity". Please keep this event in your prayers also, it is important for the development of FOCUS Nationally for us to invite faithful young people from our community to give of themselves alongside us. I've also been invited to speak at a similar event at Mount St. Mary's this Saturday night. You can pray that God is with me and uses my words.

Raul and I have begun watching the HBO series Band of Brothers with the men at the Catholic Student Center. The series provides excellent teaching points on how to build virtue and fraternity. We're watching the second episode this Sunday night.

Happy Advent!

Hello my friends and family!

I hope your Thanksgiving holiday was full of pumpkin pie and love. I journeyed south to Dearing, GA with my team director, Helen. The fabled hospitality of the Almeters did not disappoint (though I still missed home).

I am always very excited about Advent. I think it is my favorite liturgical season. Keeping vigil excites me. Watching and waiting for Jesus; it increases the desire to go to heaven in my heart. I pray for similar aspirations for you all! I want to write here again some of the words of Mark's gospel we heard at the first Sunday of Advent:

"But of that day or that hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray; for ou do not know when the time will come...And what I say to you I say to all: Watch." Mark 13:32-33, 37